And Where Do I Go to Start Over?

And where do I go from here? Back to the beginning, the end, and the starting over again.  These times are rough the times when I come down off of the roller coaster ride and face the reality of what I have done. But the cycle must continue why I do not know and now do not even care to know. This is my life the way it was and the way it will be.  My lifespan may not be long enough for me to sort out the times when I have had to begin from scratch but I will try each time to bring that part of me that is controlled by my mood swings.

Actually this time was not that tragic I messed up a little but not as much as in the past.  Could I say that the mood swings are becoming less drastic and my behavior more controlled? Well I guess I am mellowing with age.  The money spending will probably continue or I may start saving like , pardon me for saying this, a maniac.  Seriously I can save like crazy and it has happened in the past.  This may be the beginning of an episode and I may be able to get out of this hole.  I have stopped some of the purchases online and rarely go to the stores the way I used to so I guess I will save more this month.

I have started with the blogposts again which is good, I did buy some fairly expensive things but my house looks great I am furnishing my new apt (when I get it) now and trying to buy things that I will need in the future.  May be more to move but there it is I want to do it this way.

Life is good could be better but I may just be expecting too much as usual.  Never satisfied with what I have always want more but I can try to please myself there is no one else to please but myself. And there is no one to change but myself and that is all I can do.So where I start again is up to me.