Life is too easy I am in a mood. I need a cause, Things are going good God is looking after me and Life is too easy everything I want or need is being taken care of Why Do I feel this way I am not unhappy I am happy yet something is missing.
Why am I so restless and uneasy My moodswings are doming fine I am not depressed or too high yet I feel something is missing.
For the past 2 years everything with the crafts everything I try to learn I am able to learn with no problem I am creative and active healthy and alive yet now something is missing.
There are no fights arguments or upheavals in my life yet the trials and tribulations are missing no fighting for my rights I feel lost These blogs are one thing that I have let go I am not writing or doing my languages maybe I need to go back to the past to become more of what I need to be i n the future I want to work that is the biggest part of my past life that is missing.
I need to be productive I need more than what God is giving me and he is giving me the best part of life than I could ever ask for peace all my needs I cannot ask for more a million dollars would help but I have what I need and life is good good people around me everything I want to eat drink good health what am I missing I do not m now but without being a bitch and fighting for something I cannot not exist in this world I have what I need and want but I am not satisfied
WHAT NOW GOD????
Showing posts with label medication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label medication. Show all posts
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Friday, January 20, 2017
A New Way of Living
Well now I have a new way of living. Living with my "gifts" of being Bipolar and my "curses".
I try to do some sort of craft everyday. Most of the time the drives take over anyway so I do crafts everyday, every night and every minute in between. My crafts club is on Tues o n Sunday my mood swings up high I do not know if this is because of the my new life or my moodswings have just changed so much They are now every other day so I swing up and down drastically. This wa a problem until I focused and realized that this was happening and they are even more rapid and precise they are very very regular so I pass from one pole to the other. My moodswings are not so drastic in intensity I am rarely suicidal badly depressed stay in bed barely moving but I do not attempt to take my life anymore so this is a blessing. But the drives are intense but predictable so I am learning when they will become a problem I cqan control most of the money spending even with unlimited online access to stores amd I have reduced coffee and soda consumption along with the increased sugar I had started so physically I am healthier. My Psoriasis is under control for the most part I find that inclement weather rain, snow and storms trigger activity in the symptoms but am learning to "taalk: my way out of a bad flareup.
So I am learning to live my new life and adjusting to the problems of Life and Living and I think I am doing a very good job of it. I am happier than I have been in so many years that I cannot remember what it was like during the bad times. Life has its ups and downs still without my moodswings and the highs and nlows and the ones in life I would be lost.
This is my life and I am loving it
I try to do some sort of craft everyday. Most of the time the drives take over anyway so I do crafts everyday, every night and every minute in between. My crafts club is on Tues o n Sunday my mood swings up high I do not know if this is because of the my new life or my moodswings have just changed so much They are now every other day so I swing up and down drastically. This wa a problem until I focused and realized that this was happening and they are even more rapid and precise they are very very regular so I pass from one pole to the other. My moodswings are not so drastic in intensity I am rarely suicidal badly depressed stay in bed barely moving but I do not attempt to take my life anymore so this is a blessing. But the drives are intense but predictable so I am learning when they will become a problem I cqan control most of the money spending even with unlimited online access to stores amd I have reduced coffee and soda consumption along with the increased sugar I had started so physically I am healthier. My Psoriasis is under control for the most part I find that inclement weather rain, snow and storms trigger activity in the symptoms but am learning to "taalk: my way out of a bad flareup.
So I am learning to live my new life and adjusting to the problems of Life and Living and I think I am doing a very good job of it. I am happier than I have been in so many years that I cannot remember what it was like during the bad times. Life has its ups and downs still without my moodswings and the highs and nlows and the ones in life I would be lost.
This is my life and I am loving it
Friday, June 17, 2016
Voices from the Past
HI
Been a while. I was just fooling around on the computer and ran across an old site which has closed sadly it was interesting but anyway I found an article o Bipolar Disorder a question Here it is, it has a comment that is in reference to these blogs which is why I am writing this now and a very big complement
Been a while. I was just fooling around on the computer and ran across an old site which has closed sadly it was interesting but anyway I found an article o Bipolar Disorder a question Here it is, it has a comment that is in reference to these blogs which is why I am writing this now and a very big complement
Thursday, April 21, 2016
Current Life Event
Wow It has been a while
\
I am overwhelmed by all the things that have happened since I last posted. For one I moved Finally I am out of supported housing but am sill in subsidized but have my own apartment and am living independently fully again.
I am in my old town not the village itself but close enough to walk to. Everything I need is close except for the doctor but cannot have everything it is close enough
I am on my own living life the way I wanted and needed No more housemates casemanagers or organizations to answer to
I do what when if I want to and am getting back to being my old self Life is good BUT the stress of the move was great and I had a hard time for a few weeks suffered from depression and a bad manic episode but it is evening out more rapid than usual every could of days but more manageable lately
I am having issues with keeping my doctor appts I do not I have not been since Feb and need meds I keep having flareups with the psoriasis when I have an appt very very bad The last time my skin felt like plastic and was blistered I thought it was a side effect of the Lamictal and was ready to go to the Hospital but waited and when I canceled my appt for the next day it subsided
It is improved but still is bothering me I dislike my new doctor and do not feel that he has any interest in me or my care at all This is a problem since my money SS comes with the condition that I see a doctor and take meds
I have to come to grips with this and keep my next appt in May I do not know how but it is what I have to do now
Many people have this problem and there is no simple answer I guess These are things that should be addressed in therapy but since I do not do therapy I have to deal with it myself And I will the way I do everything else Try and overcome
\
I am overwhelmed by all the things that have happened since I last posted. For one I moved Finally I am out of supported housing but am sill in subsidized but have my own apartment and am living independently fully again.
I am in my old town not the village itself but close enough to walk to. Everything I need is close except for the doctor but cannot have everything it is close enough
I am on my own living life the way I wanted and needed No more housemates casemanagers or organizations to answer to
I do what when if I want to and am getting back to being my old self Life is good BUT the stress of the move was great and I had a hard time for a few weeks suffered from depression and a bad manic episode but it is evening out more rapid than usual every could of days but more manageable lately
I am having issues with keeping my doctor appts I do not I have not been since Feb and need meds I keep having flareups with the psoriasis when I have an appt very very bad The last time my skin felt like plastic and was blistered I thought it was a side effect of the Lamictal and was ready to go to the Hospital but waited and when I canceled my appt for the next day it subsided
It is improved but still is bothering me I dislike my new doctor and do not feel that he has any interest in me or my care at all This is a problem since my money SS comes with the condition that I see a doctor and take meds
I have to come to grips with this and keep my next appt in May I do not know how but it is what I have to do now
Many people have this problem and there is no simple answer I guess These are things that should be addressed in therapy but since I do not do therapy I have to deal with it myself And I will the way I do everything else Try and overcome
Monday, September 7, 2015
News for everyone who has suffered from depression
Ran across this on facebook trending trending topics It is a way for all o join in the fight for suicide for those who have experienced depression. It is\prevalent in all walks of life for a number or reasons and is difficult to predict. The understanding of this experience is being studied but at this time there are no easy answers.
https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/stopsuicide?source=wtfrt&position=3005&trqid=6191904586321747557
https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/stopsuicide?source=wtfrt&position=3005&trqid=6191904586321747557
Monday, May 25, 2015
A True Mind Lost
John Nash: Subject of 'A Beautiful Mind' and His Wife Killed in New Jersey Crash, Police Say
The 86-year-old mathematician and his wife, 82-year-old Alicia Nash, died in a taxi crash on the New Jersey Turnpike Saturday
This gifted man fought the battle with a major mental disorder schizophrenia but continued to live a fulfilling life. He was an inspiration to all and will be remembered for all the mentally ill community for the truly beautiful mind.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Understanding Different Mental Disorders
I have to confess that although I am bipolar with my own mental disorder I am lost when it comes to understanding other people with a different disorder.
Today we had a flood in the basement and it was found by a person with panic disorder. The panic episode became overwhelming to both of us. I did not understand why the screaming and hysterical behavior was part of her disorder. As I was trying to get emergency help the screaming became directed at me and I was totally lost for an understanding of what she was going through.
I have to say I do not understand much even though I writing about different disorders. This has shown me that I can not make people understand what I experience with my mood swings.
And so I have made a new resolution to not to not explain to others what I actually go through and trying to make them understand or for any empathy as to what I am going through during my episodes
I can not ask for help from others and have to control my symptoms the only thing that I can do. I can not control the disorder and so have to deal with the symptoms the best that I can.
Understanding mental disorders are difficult for me as it is for someone who does not have one.
And that is true of most people that is the differences in mental disorders.
You are never too old to learn the different mental disorders and today made me realize that I can not.
Today we had a flood in the basement and it was found by a person with panic disorder. The panic episode became overwhelming to both of us. I did not understand why the screaming and hysterical behavior was part of her disorder. As I was trying to get emergency help the screaming became directed at me and I was totally lost for an understanding of what she was going through.
I have to say I do not understand much even though I writing about different disorders. This has shown me that I can not make people understand what I experience with my mood swings.
And so I have made a new resolution to not to not explain to others what I actually go through and trying to make them understand or for any empathy as to what I am going through during my episodes
I can not ask for help from others and have to control my symptoms the only thing that I can do. I can not control the disorder and so have to deal with the symptoms the best that I can.
Understanding mental disorders are difficult for me as it is for someone who does not have one.
And that is true of most people that is the differences in mental disorders.
You are never too old to learn the different mental disorders and today made me realize that I can not.
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Sharing Your Diagnoisis
I had decided to share my bipolar disorder to my close family members and organization that houses me and now I find that it was a mistake. Sharing information is only frustrating "normal" people are just unable to understand the complexities of bipolar disorder. Too often I hear " a lot of people have insomnia" or " your do not need as much sleep as you get older" or " everyone feels depressed sometimes" These comments are beginning to effect my moodswings even more making life more difficult than it should be.
Some people are just uncomfortable with the idea of having a mental disorder and I do not feel the need to tell all of my diagnosis ie. psychosis, suicidal thoughts and attempts etc. For me this sharing of information has not proven to help me at all. Some bipolars fell that they may need the support of their family or close friends but think before you do. Is this beneficial or will this cause more stress on you trying to explain your symptoms and how you feel to someone who really has no idea of how you feel or what your symptoms mean.
Times when I need comforting or for someone to step in when my financial affairs are a disaster are not received with the help that I need and having someone to talk to just creates more intense moodswings. Moodswings sometimes seem so normal that people often blow them off as normal feels especially hypomania and mild depression but we know how they can become worse without medical intervention. Sometimes we a placed in hospitals only because our changes in mood frightens and are misunderstood or we are judged by past episodes.
I have been told I think you just do not need more sleep because you age getting older or you knew that it was coming just go with the flow. These comments and/or advice do not help me in any way.
So now I watch what I say when I say it. But my family did help me in one when and I am grateful my brother kept track of my emails and saw the pattern that my moodswings have taken so I know what and when to expect the depression and mania so that is a plus. But to share how and why I go through changes in my mood no I will not share again.
Some people are just uncomfortable with the idea of having a mental disorder and I do not feel the need to tell all of my diagnosis ie. psychosis, suicidal thoughts and attempts etc. For me this sharing of information has not proven to help me at all. Some bipolars fell that they may need the support of their family or close friends but think before you do. Is this beneficial or will this cause more stress on you trying to explain your symptoms and how you feel to someone who really has no idea of how you feel or what your symptoms mean.
Times when I need comforting or for someone to step in when my financial affairs are a disaster are not received with the help that I need and having someone to talk to just creates more intense moodswings. Moodswings sometimes seem so normal that people often blow them off as normal feels especially hypomania and mild depression but we know how they can become worse without medical intervention. Sometimes we a placed in hospitals only because our changes in mood frightens and are misunderstood or we are judged by past episodes.
I have been told I think you just do not need more sleep because you age getting older or you knew that it was coming just go with the flow. These comments and/or advice do not help me in any way.
So now I watch what I say when I say it. But my family did help me in one when and I am grateful my brother kept track of my emails and saw the pattern that my moodswings have taken so I know what and when to expect the depression and mania so that is a plus. But to share how and why I go through changes in my mood no I will not share again.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Just Plain Abuse and Dangerous Treatment
Received this email and it is a dreadful truth I am hearing more and more people who are being treated for various problems not associated with psychotic symptoms using these drugs. Seroquel is the most common prescribed for simple insomnia and it is a terrible thing due to the side effects which includes diabetes. People really need to do their research before accepting this treatment. It is like substance abuse and the unaware patient is at risk Hate to see this sort of thing but at least it is being addressed by some.
Anti-psychotic drugs given for wrong illnesses: Half of prescriptions are for conditions that are not mental illnesses
- Elderly are twice as likely to be given the drugs, despite risk of death
- They may be used to control agitation to make life easier for care workers
- In 2004 doctors were told not to use anti-psychotics except as a last resort
More than half of prescriptions for anti-psychotic drugs in Britain are for conditions other than serious mental illnesses, say researchers.
And the elderly are twice as likely to be prescribed the drugs as people in their 40s, even though they are linked to a higher risk of premature death in older people.
The drugs, often dubbed the ‘chemical cosh’ because they are wrongly used to sedate dementia patients, are licensed for serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
Dignity for the elderly: The elderly are twice as likely to be prescribed anti-psychotic drugs as people in their 40s, even though they are linked to a higher risk of premature death in older people. File picture
But a study of GPs’ prescriptions between 2007 and 2011, using an electronic database of anonymous patient records, found that less than half were prescribed the drugs for these conditions.
Often they were handed out for anxiety, sleep problems and personality disorders, as well as dementia, even though doctors have been told to prescribe them only as a last resort.
This ‘off label’ or unlicensed prescribing resulted in older people with conditions such as dementia and anxiety getting them, says the study published online by the journal BMJ Open.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2879902/Anti-psychotic-drugs-given-wrong-illnesses-Half-prescriptions-conditions-not-mental-illnesses.html#ixzz3MXlBx1EM
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Monday, November 17, 2014
Monday, September 1, 2014
Ketamine News
Taking the risk for others with a mental disorder. This in my email and I wonder if I would take the risk. Is it worth major side effects, although they say they are minimal, but we all know that it is sometimes covered up, would I grasp at anything if life was unbearable because of my mental disorder. Right now I do not think so but I still wonder where would I be if my mood swings suddenly went into remission. Just a thought in the back of my mind.
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Do the majority or minority feel that they wish they were not Bipolar and why How many feel happy being bipolar and why
This is a question that I asked people on a online group and the answers that I received A mixed reaction from fellow bipolars.
Do the majority or minority feel that they wish they were not Bipolar and why How many feel happy being bipolar and why
I enjoy the highs and lows, I'm the most productive while in them.<br />
Depressed:I'm very creative and "deep" so to speak<br />
and with the mania, I get alot accomplished, I'm not shy, and I tend to make alot of friends, as well as make fun/funny memories that last forever!
Depressed:I'm very creative and "deep" so to speak<br />
and with the mania, I get alot accomplished, I'm not shy, and I tend to make alot of friends, as well as make fun/funny memories that last forever!
Our ability to draw people to us is what a Professor once told me I am a magnet Another person said I am always laughing and smiling people like that so they want to be around me But the oppisite happens when depressed and no on can ever understand it but a Bipolar I am Bipolar 1 which is the only part that I could give up too disjointed and difficult thoughts But it is the way it is
Me 46-50Feb 5, 2012
I have bipolar I but I have an annual cycle. So I don't experience day to day effects. In February- March I go bannanas. (aka right now) so I don't have a difficult dose of bipolar. Right now I have to take alot of meds to be stable though. It is extremely difficult, but it has given me many gifts. There's something about the intensity of the disorder (even when medicated ) that makes life so much more complex and intricate. <br />
<br />
I ask the question; Why? ... so much more than other people, and I'm not that afraid of emotional pain because right now even medicated I experience so much... torment... just trying to control myself. I think I question reality on a deep level because I experience this. A person can study it but to live it is another thing entirely... you can read about it. or you can spend those weeks crying in your bed for no reason, angry... with 1001 reasons flying through your mind at light year speed. You go through alot of pain you have to deal with yourself. It makes a person extremely dynamic. If they choose to be strong. <br />
<br />
So I am content with it. being myself and such.
<br />
I ask the question; Why? ... so much more than other people, and I'm not that afraid of emotional pain because right now even medicated I experience so much... torment... just trying to control myself. I think I question reality on a deep level because I experience this. A person can study it but to live it is another thing entirely... you can read about it. or you can spend those weeks crying in your bed for no reason, angry... with 1001 reasons flying through your mind at light year speed. You go through alot of pain you have to deal with yourself. It makes a person extremely dynamic. If they choose to be strong. <br />
<br />
So I am content with it. being myself and such.
I totally agree with you and the other comments Beging bipolar even though it is up to us to choose iot We can choose to live with it and accomplish as much as we can Which most of the time is a great deal thanks
Me 46-50Feb 5, 2012
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Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Another Story Told
Put up a google alert about bipolar disorder among others and will gain a better understanding of all mental disorders I hope This came up on my email inbox and I thought that I will share it with you Just another side of the endless coin
Wena Indlovu likes an article on The Huffington Post.
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
The Right to Be
Right now the direction that the mental health workers is not the path that
most people with a mental illness need. The right to their own self determination
in all areas of their lives
is being denied. The right to be treated with dignity and respect leads to
the person to lose their self respect and the ability to determine what is
in their own self interest. He mental health workers have been part of
the system that was originally designed to aid the person with a
mental illness the opportunity to move on in life and to thrive
in society rather than being entrenched in a system that was designed
to assist.
There are still people with serious mental illnesses still struggle
to have the fundamental right to determine how they wish to have a
quality life and, to make meaningful decisions about their own lives.
Society and the system still harbor stigmas concerning mental illnesses and
the families and the system often limit the persons rights
in the name of humanity. In the United States there is still
discrimination against the mentally ill.
The system now serves as a trap that is difficult
to get out of once you become a statistic.
The clients of the system fail to attain the life
that they were promised and so the system
fails again. Some who are independent enough
fight for the right for: access to recovery services
and support in the community; The development of
life plans for those who want professional or peer support;
education and support for self management of their mental illness;
the access to government benefits to fulfill personal rehabilitation
and recovery plans
The right to confidentiality and access to all records and documents
about themselves and the treatment plans; the ability to live in
places separate from treatment or services;; access to
traditional mental health programs ; and to have access
to alternative treatment, such as natural remedies and
non traditional treatments.
What society and the system need to revamp the very system
that promised to give the support as needed to individuals
and not as a group of numbers and grant the mentally ill
their basic rights as people...
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I Have Bipolar Disorder But Still Live Life
☺really ?? How Does Bipolar Disorder Stop You From Living ?
please Id love any comments or messages talking about how bipolar disorder changed your life and what you noticed was different thank you for any comments