Spirals of Life bywena

Sunday, July 12, 2026

Love to Hate: Staying Foc zusedhttps://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=955516327914632&set=gm.1354766994554913&type=3

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=955516327914632&set=gm.1354766994554913&type=3

And it's Sunday again new moon out and Start of another week soon month.

Have to re read my post on staying focused lost track of self and what is important to me and whatever others seem to think is important for me. To be blunt living here is a challenge and as one of the women here said. If you fart they smell it. Sounds disgusting and crude but it's true they don't care about you just plain nosey.

So back on track now mood has leveled out like I am coasting. Doing crafts will take time to post on Etsy see if I can sell but not the priority. I craft for therapy it has saved me many times but also has me in a little trouble but working it out.

Money of course the biggest problem I have now but there it is the life of a bipolar. I am starting over more or less. I have a health issue and the nurse practitioner snatched away the lamictal a couple of months ago almost landed in hospital managed to stick it out with no meds for 72hrs raised it to 30mg of zyprexa a day. Insurance didn't go for it fought and it went through so now on massive dose and actually doing better little more control. More sleep gained back weight I lost because of the paradoxical reactions and calmer still popping Benadryl and now retaining water in my legs for some reason diet probably trying to control it with diet changes and over the counter.

Well making little boxes from hot glue 🎨. Making charms drawing and stickers just making things to sell maybe maybe not. Enjoying myself and continuing the therapy.

Crafting does help I recommend it to everyone who has a mental illness it doesn't have to be complicated or a masterpiece maybe it would not help you but if you try consistently for a few days you may see a change in mood thinking and outlook.

Dare to try.

Sunday, June 14, 2026

Crafting maniac

Hey everybody. It is wena. 10 years later new housing people and environment but as we know things never stay the same

Well that's except for mood swings for some of us, but never give up hope. The new nurse practitioner snatched away the lamictal after 20 or 30 years. And of course I had a massive mood upheaval. I am rapid but I was going up and down like a freaked out yo-yo. Long story short emergency call. Crisis managed to stay out of the hospital but insurance made me wait for increased zyprexa 30mg went on for 3 days. Finally went through And amazingly it's working not perfect still have moo swings but I actually sleep with the help of Benadryl

Unfortunately I opened my mouth about being bipolar and of course they have heard of the term but have no idea what it is

Bipolar violence has become explanation for e everything so they think they know what they are talking about when they have no clue of the mood swings just you are mentally ill and unhinged. I live with seniors some late 90s and they are just Seniors in with their own way of thinking. Alot of them anyway some have nothing better to do than sit turning cards over and gossiping. One of them who ran the craft club we had here is a massive massive control freak and has settled on me as usual.

She claims her son is bipolar and he is trying to get disability he is in his 50s at least stupid. He was in printing and the job market changed so he is out of work depressed and trying for disability. Don't get me wrong disability is a lifesaver but I don't recommend it unless there's no other way.

Anyway I am rambling I just want to post some of my stuff I have been doing trying hard to keep sane and live my bipolar life. These are cardboard creations because I am in debt lost my credit card and don't have savings just doing what I can with what I have. I make Hot glue figurines plaster and now paper mache here's some I have been working on this week.

This isn't grammatically correct. I am just in the mood to share. It has been 10 years.

Well here it is and I will be back as usual.

Monday, March 24, 2025

my life now

it has been years since I posted. I have made a nice life for the past years. I have made a life for myself in a community of seniors I love it. It looks like a park hundreds of trees, so many animals birds ,geese, deer, turkeys thrive here.

My bipolar disorder is still the same still not stable and probably ill never be, my original doctor told me but I have learned to live with and try to control the best I can.

New meds to stabilize mood are not coming so we have to hope and wait or accepte. But my talents have soar. I craft day and night really because of the high which is worse but I am having fun.

I read online that we have more depressive episodes as we age but mine are different I have more manic episodes. I also read that we don't live as long as average people and I feel like a dark cloud over my head sometimes, but it is a part of life so there it is.

I am signing off for now. so have a day full of blessings and try to keep a stepping. Hope to see you again.

Sunday, October 14, 2018

crafting mania

Well been a while again but i have to write about this, I have had back to back episodes of mania for 3 years almost. This was an over preoccupation with crafts. Seems innocent enough being production keeping busy being creative, that is what they tell you to do. But this turned to mania and along with it the drive to create and I kept all of the things i made the apt was full crowded and full the walls floors I could not clean around it and did not even try but we had inspection and again it came to the point of almost losing everything I have worked for accomplished almost lost. But I looked around and saw all the signs of a manic episode the money spent thousands the accumulation of stuff smacked me in the face and i was scared. I have not called the doctor but i plan on telling them. Now i stop 11 pm i go to bed and end the cycle. I had to almost hit bottom again before i could see and stop. I have not been eating or sleeping so I stop take inventory of what i have been doing for the day and do what i have to do to live.

just thought I would keep you updated a weird mania

Monday, June 4, 2018

Update on My Life

It has been a long time since i have written in these blogs.
everybody must think I died.

Not the case I have been living. Living a life that I thought I would but never had the chance. When I first went on disability I thought I would spend my days crafting and going to school. That did not work out so I did crafts read studied did various things to keep me occupied but now I spend my days crafting I have decided to start writing again keeping a journal and I joined online therapy.
I had my first session last night. I was lonely tired and bored so I went online and hooked up with a listener. He was a little slow and asked me statistics name place age and I went along so finally he said do you want to do my exclusive 6 minute throw up I said why not. Ha it was 6 minutes of typing no backspace about whatever you wanted to throw up. That was the most brilliant idea that he could have had. I loved it I typed about y past with the bipolar mental illness the shelter the housing I found myself in and the problems I had while in this situation. He was impressed cal;led me a champion for going through all that alone, That was all I needed to lift me out of my mood I felt 100% better he was motivated and excited we chatted a little more and I signed off but I am following him he said we could schedule sessions and talk I plan on doing it. Who would think 6 minutes could make such a difference I feel motivated and energized but also tired dredging up old emotions and memories but it was good I purged and that is all that matters a place to throw up my emotions without fear of something happening beyond my control. I am in my own apt my own computer I can sign off whenever and noting will happen I feel it is a safe place and there are others to chat with there are exercises and tips on controlling and understanding yourself and then there is the LISTENER Excellent I recommend it to anyone it is 7 cups if you are interested. I urge you to try it it is not traditional therapy which I tried and failed at but am willing to try again in near future with one on one face to face that is the next step.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

In a Mood

Life is too easy I am in a mood. I need a cause, Things are going good God is looking after me and Life is too easy everything I want or need is being taken care of Why Do I feel this way I am not unhappy I am happy yet something is missing.
Why am I so restless and uneasy My moodswings are doming fine I am not depressed or too high yet I feel something is missing.

For the past 2 years everything with the crafts everything I try to learn I am able to learn with no problem I am creative and active healthy and alive yet now something is missing.

There are no fights arguments or upheavals in my life yet the trials and tribulations are missing no fighting for my rights I feel lost These blogs are one thing that I have let go I am not writing or doing my languages maybe I need to go back to the past to become more of what I need to be i n the future I want to work that is the biggest part of my past life that is missing.

I need to be productive I need more than what God is giving me and he is giving me the best part of life than I could ever ask for peace all my needs I cannot ask for more a million dollars would help but I have what I need and life is good good people around me everything I want to eat drink good health what am I missing I do not m now but without being a bitch and fighting for something I cannot not exist in this world I have what I need and want but I am not satisfied
WHAT NOW GOD????

Friday, January 20, 2017

A New Way of Living

Well now I have a new way of living. Living with my "gifts" of being Bipolar and my "curses".

I try to do some sort of craft everyday. Most of the time the drives take over anyway so I do crafts everyday, every night and every minute in between. My crafts club is on Tues o n Sunday my mood swings up high I do not know if this is because of the my new life or my moodswings have just changed so much They are now every other day so I swing up and down drastically. This wa a problem until I focused and realized that this was happening and they are even more rapid and precise they are very very regular so I pass from one pole to the other. My moodswings are not so drastic in intensity I am rarely suicidal badly depressed stay in bed barely moving but I do not attempt to take my life anymore so this is a blessing. But the drives are intense but predictable so I am learning when they will become a problem I cqan control most of the money spending even with unlimited online access to stores amd I have reduced coffee and soda consumption along with the increased sugar I had started so physically I am healthier. My Psoriasis is under control for the most part I find that inclement weather rain, snow and storms trigger activity in the symptoms but am learning to "taalk: my way out of a bad flareup.

So I am learning to live my new life and adjusting to the problems of Life and Living and I think I am doing a very good job of it. I am happier than I have been in so many years that I cannot remember what it was like during the bad times. Life has its ups and downs still without my moodswings and the highs and nlows and the ones in life I would be lost.

This is my life and I am loving it

Friday, January 6, 2017

An Artistic Stream of Ideas New Group

For all those crafters and or craft lovers here is my new facebook page group We are small 3 members buit there are followers who connect with all sorts of creative endevors so we have a diversified audience come look read learn teach whatever you may want to comm,ent on like share all are welcome This is a public groupd so anyone can join I needall the information that I can get about all the arts as the name says so if you are looking for a new project tips and ideas for old ones come and join us Here is a sample of posts

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1354766541221625/?ref=aymt_homepage_panel

Wena Indlovu shared a link.

1 hr

A lot of good ideas here

50+ Awesome DIY Image Transfer Projects

Transferring photos onto just about any surface such as wood, metal, glass, terra cotta and even fabric has become a popular craft projects. It is a pretty cool and cheap way to get your favorite p...

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Wena Indlovu

1 hr

Using markers and frosted effect paint on transparent sheets which you cut into shapes can be made to look like etched glass and stained glass embellishments Looks pretty good something different to try

OLDER

Wena Indlovu

16 hrs

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