And Then and Now and the Future

Well another dilemma Do I even try to get the paperwork to move or do I have to go with my moodswings and forget a dream?  I just looked at my bills and purchases for the past 6 months They are high but could be worse but I see the pattern and it is a little staggering.  On the 11th of each month I see a purchase big or small does not matter but I see what my brother saw.  My moodswings are now at every nine days.  This is a shock he could tell by my emails and told me to the day what would happen.

What now? I am in secure housing now and if for some reason I cannot pay the rent they would carry me and I would be able to pay it off without a problem.  Now if I move out of the system there will be no safety net and I could be evicted and end up back in a shelter.  That is unacceptable I cannot endure that again.  So do I move and try to stay in control?  There is no control of these moodswings I do  not know why the doctors do not know why but I cannot be stabilized.  This means that I will go through the same pattern for life.  Can I accept that sort of life?  No so my dream of once again having my own place does not seem to be possible I cannot see another way out of this mess that I have made of my life.