A little reflection on my life is going on right now. When I think about the major events in my life I see the patterns and the obstacles I have had to overcome and I realize that I am strong maybe a little stubborn but I have had to be. One huge event was my 1st hospitalization I was confined for 6 months and everyone thought that my life as I knew it was over. But I came out on the 27th of January and by Lincolns birthday I was once again in the workforce this was done with the objections from my doctor and family but I never thought of any other way of life and so I did what I had to do and that was what was best for me. I fought going on disability all of my bipolar life and managed to work for years after not without upheavals in my moods, the moodswings never stopped, but I struggled on. I paid all of the massive credit card debts, paid off my student loan and managed to buy what I wanted to rebuild my life.
Now I find myself in a similar situation but I have accepted that this will occur again and again I learn from it each time but I realize that this unstable life with bipolar disorder will never end so I will pay the bills and once again live an independent life without the help from those who think they know what is best for me. I am the only judge of what is in my best interest and I have come to see that people misjudge my potential. I am a strong woman who may be headstrong and overly motivated but it is the only way I know how to be and would not change myself for the world.
So I fight on it may be futile but it is what keeps me going in a system that tries but never seems to work. The organizations seem to have a true purpose in the lives of the mentally ill but comes up short when it comes to some. The system fails for some but it is really a safety net there when there is the need but I do not consider it a way of life.
So I fight on and will conquer these obstacles and will be triumphant in my fight for independence.
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