I Know About Bipolar Disorder Some Questions Without Answers

Here are some problems that some bipolars have. They are sometimes problems that the mentally ill community share. This cam from a group on the internet that I sometimes put my blogs on and also get advice ad feedback.

is there anyone that would answer some questions I have? Shed some insight? I'm not sure if I am bipolar but I've been writing down on paper the racing thoughts I'm having lately and want to see if anyone can relate.

Why can't I have feelings? I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder with bipolar I tendencies (before it was bipolar I 14 years ago). I now realize what I can and cannot do. It's tough. I'm now releasing my feelings that have been bottled up for 28 years. My family and friends have turned their back on me. But it's supposed to be okay for them to disrespect me, cheat me, and not take me seriously. After all I've done for them. Society even stigmatizes the disorder. Aren't I allowed to have feelings like a "normal" person?

My girlfriend is diagnosed type 1 bipolar. Things started smoothly and now we have started to fight a lot.. They are little pity fights that turn into something big because I am trying to help her see they aren't worth fighting over.. Maybe just addressed. Anyway, it's happened more recent that she just starts to say **** it. If it's something she doesn't want to hear she will say stuff like, lose my number and we are done. We are over. 

and I haven't told anyone. I don't take pills anymore. I haven't for 5 years. I want to do this myself. And I thought I was doing so well. But everything is falling apart.



I haven't told anyone in my family that I'm on mood stabalizers. The last time, when I took antidepressants, I didn't tell anyone for 2-3 weeks. When I finally told my family, thinking they'll accept it, my father became very disappointed in me. He expressed his distrust in me - I had hurt him. He mentioned that he noticed changes in my behaviour. I came off of them because the side effects we too difficult for me to handle. 

Today, my father asked me if I was on any pills again because he noticed changes. It's only been 2-3 weeks again. I bent the truth and made it seem like I wasn't. 

I don't want to hurt him again, but I don't want to feel guilty at the same time.